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she says god told her to write the lyrics. i get it.

April 21, 2011

lately, i’ve noticed that the internet had been a-flutter (more like a-fury) over lady gaga’s song judas and her subsequent quote about writing the song. she says that

“I feel like honestly that God sent me those [“Judas”] lyrics and that melody. When you feel a message to give to the world and people are shooting arrows through it … there’s no way for something that pure to be wrong.”

now, everybody is going “THIS BITCH.” and fine, maybe she’s getting a bit big for her britches and maybe what she does is just getting more and more out there, but something in me immediately recognized what she was talking about.

the muse. fucking duh.

now, i think she’s really taking it a step too far because of the inherent reaction i get against the mention of religion attached to creative endeavors or successes. disclaimer – i know somewhat what i’m talking about. i went to catholic school for 10 years and ukrainian catholic catechism/church. i’ve always loved the stories of the bible (but detested the people who live by the book word for word in order to have an excuse for hate) and religion intrigues me – specifically satan and his fallen angels.

i wouldn’t identify the muse with god. maybe some people do – i could understand how people who are surrounded by religion could let god take credit for their successes (maybe not their failures). it makes sense. i was raised catholic, and there’s a lot of group-think surrounding the idea of personal successes, especially in creative endeavours. it’s usually stated as god “speaking to” or “through” a person. from what i remember from both roman catholic church and ukrainian catholic church, church community was less individualistic and more collectivist. i’m not saying one is more right than the other. i’m only saying that from a young age i always knew it was wrong – for me. how can i let anyone take credit for what i do?

but what she is saying in her quote – about the words pouring out onto the page – well, firstly she’s completely inviting the catholic league to tear her a new one. but then again… catholicism is led by a man who told people that using condoms would increase aids. errrr…..


maybe what i’m about to say is going to sound cheesy but you can deal. there have been two times in my life when i experienced something along the lines of what lady gaga specified in her quote – the outpouring of words. one was writing a poem – black dog on repeat, and the other was writing the initial short story that my thesis is now expanded from. with the poem, it came out in one flow, spurred on from listening to black dog by leddy (on repeat) and to this day i haven’t edited the poem. at all. it came out in one surge and did not need to be edited.

the short story was similar. i watched a video and all of a sudden i was inspired and i sat down to write my first short story ever, staying up all night to just get it out. i was euphoric. i felt like i had created something amazing. and when i brought it in to my writing mentor and our writing class, again – there were no edits to be had.

keep in mind that these are only two pieces out of HUNDREDS of pieces of writing i’ve done. in no way shape or form am i trying to say that i’m a writing genius.

but the feeling i had while writing these two things – it’s weird to explain. i was being spurred on by hot, electric heels. i was totally absorbed in my computer screen, in the words in front of me. i was oblivious to sleep, wasn’t hungry, wasn’t distracted. i didn’t get up to wander around like i often do while writing. i wasn’t tooling around on the internet. i was just writing. and i was writing fast. i didn’t let my mind get in the way. i didn’t let any brain take over. in a way, yes, it felt like a muse was writing through me, flooding my fingers. but if i let myself totally believe that, i wouldn’t ever have any self confidence, would i?

they were weird experiences, those times i wrote freely and beautifully, without need for edits. i haven’t had it happen since. so what was it? divine inspiration? a build up of aural clips and visual images exploding from the recesses of my brain to flow freely onto the page? who knows. i won’t question it. all i know is that i won’t scorn lady gaga for making that statement. i kind of understand where she’s coming from.

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