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do ya date writers? do ya LIKES it?

March 7, 2011

hello. this post is brought to you from insanity. i am writing a love poem to caligula. that should be a gauge. also i think that i would have been a good wife for caligula. agree or disagree? also my thesis is chugging along and i actually feel good about it and im editing everything in the world right now. the gods are chasing me for once.  now that i’ve said that, hubris is going to smite me down. but it’s okay. up and down are natural.

so the fabulous chris urquhart and i were talking about dating, as we are wont to do on occasion, since we are young and eligible women with urges, and whatnot. tee hee! anyway, we are both in thesis haze right now, her more than i because her thesis is due SOONER. and we were discussing the idea of also DATING right now during this crazy time.


a lot of people have told me:

don’t even think about dating other writers (or other creative types i suppose because i feel like musicians/visual artists/etc are just as crazy). there is far too much creative energy there and it’s going to implode in a really nasty way. it’s not going to end up well. blah blah blah etc etc etc.

there is validity to that statement, i think. okay. when i take stock of my dating history, only one or two men stand out as what people would peg as “creative types” – e.g., do creative things such as writing or music or visual art or theatre or what-have-you as a living or as a major part of their lives – and i can’t say that they’ve ended well. but it’s not necessarily worse than the other men i’ve dated or been involved with – it’s just a different kind of intensity, a different kind of … upset, for lack of a better word. maybe it’s a little more intense. i guess that theoretically creative men would be more, well, creative in their negativity and their sniping and their put-downs. that’s just conjecture. i’ve never really experienced that. though i have heard horror stories from friends who have been involved with creative people and it’s just gone down the TUBES.

why? who knows. creative types – rightbrained (i always screw up the sides. it doesn’t make sense to me – in politics left is LIBERAL and right is CONSERVATIVE, but in brain left is LOGICAL and right is CREATIVE. a load of horse-puckey, right?) … where was i. oh. maybe right-brained people are just more involved in themselves. i know that i would probably classify myself as self-involved, but only really when i am in intense periods of writing. and creative types can be VERY dramatic – i’ve seen (and participated in, actually) some humdingers of fights. like real knock-down drag-out fights, the really good and scary kinds with lots of yelling.

well, that is all guess-work. but it’s a possibility, right? people become dedicated to their “art”. actors, artists, directors, writers, sculptors, etc.

anyway, chris and i were talking, and i was saying how very concentrated i was at the moment – just going to the grocery store and talking to the clerk makes me tired, very tired – interaction with people slows me down a little – so i don’t know how it would be if i was highly involved in the dating scene right now. i don’t think it would be very fair at all to anyone i was dating.


and i said – “well, might it be easier to, at this point, be dating another writer? or at least another creative type? someone who could understand the need to withdraw completely and write?” i don’t know. it’s something to think about. i can’t say i’ve ever been particularly attracted to other writers – i think there is a big potential for ugly competition within a relationship, potential for real verbal cruelty, or cruelty regarding each others’ writing (the most hurtful thing!). but at times like these, yes, i do wonder what it would be like dating another writer. people do it. writers do maintain long term relationships. it’s certainly not impossible. not appealing to me, but not impossible. i’d rather have a football player who reads milton. that’s not impossible either. or a man in a corset.

this is probably the only writer i'd date.

yeah. we have to be selfish right now. im so very selfish right now. but it’s a protection mechanism – i feel as though i may use up a lot of my social subtleties on my thesis – literally writing them in there – and so i’m nervous that i’m going to be too blunt in person. i’m worried that i’m really brusque. and also i don’t brush my hair anymore. how can i face the other gender looking like that? maybe only another writer would understand!

or maybe not.


i’d like to know how many of my colleagues in the program are seeing or involved with writers. and then i’d like to know how many of my colleagues in the program are seeing or involved with serious creative types (theatre, musical, visual art, etc.).

maybe i should invest in a potted plant or something.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 7, 2011 9:46 am

    “horse-puckey”… !!! you are my mom.

    also, when are you going to write the part about how writers in relationships are BORING.

    scandal on the interwebs.


  1. artistic partnership | everywhere leonine.

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